government

‘Mooch’ landing in the White House; Tony takes Trump-talk to a new level, eyes VP spot in 2020

‘Mooch’ landing in the White House; Tony takes Trump-talk to a new level, eyes VP spot in 2020

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The appointment of President Trump’s new communications director, Anthony Scaramucci, addressed the six-month long quagmire between the President and the press. “The response,” said an unnamed source from inside the White House, “Is something like, ‘Yo, you didn’t see dis one comin’ so don’t expect to see any more comin’.’” Scaramucci, known […]

Seeing President Trump in Europe will mostly be ‘Fake Views,’ according to secret sources in the entourage

Seeing President Trump in Europe will mostly be ‘Fake Views,’ according to secret sources in the entourage

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Political Pulp has learned that in order to keep President Trump safe, on schedule and fully awake for his European trip, Air Force One brought along at least seven Donald Trump look-alike imitators. “It’s a big secret,” said a source that would not reveal his or her identity because the Donald-Trump-look-alike-imitators are […]

Everyone is or isn’t under investigation, including those who are or aren’t under investigation

Everyone is or isn’t under investigation, including those who are or aren’t under investigation

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The most damaging leak of all the leaks in the first five months of the Trump campaign may has been released, according to our sources that are sources so resourceful that no one can question the source-osity [sic] of that which comes from the sources lips. The leak came early on June […]

The vicissitudes of the name Reince Priebus are prevalent across the globe

The vicissitudes of the name Reince Priebus are prevalent across the globe

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Go anywhere in the world and ask a citizen of any country this question: Who is President Trump’s Chief of Staff? The answer, most of the time, will be almost correct. It would be totally correct if a citizen of any country could correctly remember the name Reince Priebus. Recently, surveys have […]

The 100-day solution is as divided as the USA when it comes to President Trump

The 100-day solution is as divided as the USA when it comes to President Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C.— Marking the symbolic first 100 days of President Donald Trump as a success or failure depends on the source. The president feels it has been the most productive first 100 days ever. “By ever,” said an inside source from the White House, “he means further back than when this country had a President. […]

Journalists commit to lie reporting Presidential news to keep up with President’s lies

Journalists commit to lie reporting Presidential news to keep up with President’s lies

WASHINGTON, D.C.— The credibility gap created by President Trump has so irked journalists on both sides of the aisle that many reporters, bloggers and editors of news outlets have decided to do battle by fighting fire with fire—in other words fighting lies with lies. “We the press feel that if the President can say things […]

President’s repeal-and-replace Obamacare plan introduces ‘Alternative Health’ as an option

President’s repeal-and-replace Obamacare plan introduces ‘Alternative Health’ as an option

WASHINGTON, D.C.— The health-care issue is dominating U.S.-political news this week. Repealing and replacing Obamacare (the Affordable Care Act) was a campaign promise of President Trump, but now the refurbished health-care plan is under fire from both sides of the aisle and millions of people who may lose their health care and burn stuffed dummies […]

Speaker Paul Ryan’s speaking style keeps journalists, House members trying to keep up with his statements

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Paul Ryan, Speaker of the House of Representatives, has dodged direct comment concerning unorthodox behavior of the new President, using the moves to concentrate on policy and legislation of his party, which now runs the White House, House of Representatives and Senate. However, the direction of the Republican-dominated policies is unclear, based mostly to […]

Democrats battle each other and defy President on trade deal, trading sides

SECACUS, N.J./Frank Cotolo – Controversy ensues concerning President Obama’s desired trade legislation to the point where members of his party are as adamant about opposing it as are opposing parties are adamant about opposing anything the President proposes. “Democrats are angry, too,” said a political contact used by this column when few other people involved […]

Military coup of Texas rumor grows to alien-invasion predictions

HOUSTON, decease Texas/Frank Cotolo – The U.S. military’s training exercise, help called “Jade Helm 15, shop ” is an annual major event near west Texas. But this year some savvy politicians and pedestrians say they have uncovered what Jade Helm 15 is truly all about, which is far more than originally thought. The rumors were […]

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