Humor

‘Mooch’ landing in the White House; Tony takes Trump-talk to a new level, eyes VP spot in 2020

‘Mooch’ landing in the White House; Tony takes Trump-talk to a new level, eyes VP spot in 2020

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The appointment of President Trump’s new communications director, Anthony Scaramucci, addressed the six-month long quagmire between the President and the press. “The response,” said an unnamed source from inside the White House, “Is something like, ‘Yo, you didn’t see dis one comin’ so don’t expect to see any more comin’.’” Scaramucci, known […]

Seeing President Trump in Europe will mostly be ‘Fake Views,’ according to secret sources in the entourage

Seeing President Trump in Europe will mostly be ‘Fake Views,’ according to secret sources in the entourage

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Political Pulp has learned that in order to keep President Trump safe, on schedule and fully awake for his European trip, Air Force One brought along at least seven Donald Trump look-alike imitators. “It’s a big secret,” said a source that would not reveal his or her identity because the Donald-Trump-look-alike-imitators are […]

Everyone is or isn’t under investigation, including those who are or aren’t under investigation

Everyone is or isn’t under investigation, including those who are or aren’t under investigation

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The most damaging leak of all the leaks in the first five months of the Trump campaign may has been released, according to our sources that are sources so resourceful that no one can question the source-osity [sic] of that which comes from the sources lips. The leak came early on June […]

The vicissitudes of the name Reince Priebus are prevalent across the globe

The vicissitudes of the name Reince Priebus are prevalent across the globe

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Go anywhere in the world and ask a citizen of any country this question: Who is President Trump’s Chief of Staff? The answer, most of the time, will be almost correct. It would be totally correct if a citizen of any country could correctly remember the name Reince Priebus. Recently, surveys have […]

Exclusive: U.S. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson is a robot, according to A.I. specialists

Exclusive: U.S. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson is a robot, according to A.I. specialists

WASHINGTON, D.C. — It’s an outrageous theory, as easily as it could be confirmed, but a few so-called “artificial intelligence” (AI) experts claim that Secretary of State Rex Tillerson is a robot. “We have been studying Rex a long time,” says Sam Sinicule, one of the authors of the robot theory. “Even before he became […]

Proponents push gigantic project to build a wall around all American borders

Proponents push gigantic project to build a wall around all American borders

SANTA FE, N.M. — As the funding for President Trump’s wall across the border of the U.S. and Mexico continues to find sources, a growing group of people are pushing for a bigger, longer, more inclusive wall, one that would literally be built along the borders of the entire country. “No one gets in or […]

Another President Johnson? Dwayne doesn’t rule out run to ‘Rock’ the White House

Another President Johnson? Dwayne doesn’t rule out run to ‘Rock’ the White House

LOS ANGELES, Calif. —He was known as “The Rock” in professional wrestling and he is now the highest paid actor in movies. Recently, Dwayne Johnson saw his future with one more possibility—a U.S. Presidential candidacy. “Why not?” said a Wisconsin head of a Johnson fan club. “We had an actor before and now we got […]

Macron becomes France’s President over hard-lined right-wing Marine La Pen; division still intense

Macron becomes France’s President over hard-lined right-wing Marine La Pen; division still intense

PARIS, France—The recent Presidential election in France is over, setting up another international conflict between nationalists and globalists. This time the global-centrist group won, electing Emmanuel Macron by a wide margin. “We like to call it a landmine,” wrote French blogger Pierre Pasolini, who could not translate “landslide” in French but knew that what he […]

The 100-day solution is as divided as the USA when it comes to President Trump

The 100-day solution is as divided as the USA when it comes to President Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C.— Marking the symbolic first 100 days of President Donald Trump as a success or failure depends on the source. The president feels it has been the most productive first 100 days ever. “By ever,” said an inside source from the White House, “he means further back than when this country had a President. […]

Journalists commit to lie reporting Presidential news to keep up with President’s lies

Journalists commit to lie reporting Presidential news to keep up with President’s lies

WASHINGTON, D.C.— The credibility gap created by President Trump has so irked journalists on both sides of the aisle that many reporters, bloggers and editors of news outlets have decided to do battle by fighting fire with fire—in other words fighting lies with lies. “We the press feel that if the President can say things […]

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