politics

Tens of thousands of regular folk registering as candidates to challenge Trump in 2020

Tens of thousands of regular folk registering as candidates to challenge Trump in 2020

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With President Trump’s approval ratings lower than any President has recorded since such ratings were recorded, prospective challengers are gearing up for big campaigns against the incumbant. The number of possible candidates is increasing even as you read this. People from all over the country in major, minor and yet-to-be-established political parties […]

‘Mooch’ landing in the White House; Tony takes Trump-talk to a new level, eyes VP spot in 2020

‘Mooch’ landing in the White House; Tony takes Trump-talk to a new level, eyes VP spot in 2020

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The appointment of President Trump’s new communications director, Anthony Scaramucci, addressed the six-month long quagmire between the President and the press. “The response,” said an unnamed source from inside the White House, “Is something like, ‘Yo, you didn’t see dis one comin’ so don’t expect to see any more comin’.’” Scaramucci, known […]

Everyone is or isn’t under investigation, including those who are or aren’t under investigation

Everyone is or isn’t under investigation, including those who are or aren’t under investigation

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The most damaging leak of all the leaks in the first five months of the Trump campaign may has been released, according to our sources that are sources so resourceful that no one can question the source-osity [sic] of that which comes from the sources lips. The leak came early on June […]

The vicissitudes of the name Reince Priebus are prevalent across the globe

The vicissitudes of the name Reince Priebus are prevalent across the globe

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Go anywhere in the world and ask a citizen of any country this question: Who is President Trump’s Chief of Staff? The answer, most of the time, will be almost correct. It would be totally correct if a citizen of any country could correctly remember the name Reince Priebus. Recently, surveys have […]

Exclusive: U.S. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson is a robot, according to A.I. specialists

Exclusive: U.S. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson is a robot, according to A.I. specialists

WASHINGTON, D.C. — It’s an outrageous theory, as easily as it could be confirmed, but a few so-called “artificial intelligence” (AI) experts claim that Secretary of State Rex Tillerson is a robot. “We have been studying Rex a long time,” says Sam Sinicule, one of the authors of the robot theory. “Even before he became […]

Proponents push gigantic project to build a wall around all American borders

Proponents push gigantic project to build a wall around all American borders

SANTA FE, N.M. — As the funding for President Trump’s wall across the border of the U.S. and Mexico continues to find sources, a growing group of people are pushing for a bigger, longer, more inclusive wall, one that would literally be built along the borders of the entire country. “No one gets in or […]

Another President Johnson? Dwayne doesn’t rule out run to ‘Rock’ the White House

Another President Johnson? Dwayne doesn’t rule out run to ‘Rock’ the White House

LOS ANGELES, Calif. —He was known as “The Rock” in professional wrestling and he is now the highest paid actor in movies. Recently, Dwayne Johnson saw his future with one more possibility—a U.S. Presidential candidacy. “Why not?” said a Wisconsin head of a Johnson fan club. “We had an actor before and now we got […]

Macron becomes France’s President over hard-lined right-wing Marine La Pen; division still intense

Macron becomes France’s President over hard-lined right-wing Marine La Pen; division still intense

PARIS, France—The recent Presidential election in France is over, setting up another international conflict between nationalists and globalists. This time the global-centrist group won, electing Emmanuel Macron by a wide margin. “We like to call it a landmine,” wrote French blogger Pierre Pasolini, who could not translate “landslide” in French but knew that what he […]

Journalists commit to lie reporting Presidential news to keep up with President’s lies

Journalists commit to lie reporting Presidential news to keep up with President’s lies

WASHINGTON, D.C.— The credibility gap created by President Trump has so irked journalists on both sides of the aisle that many reporters, bloggers and editors of news outlets have decided to do battle by fighting fire with fire—in other words fighting lies with lies. “We the press feel that if the President can say things […]

Exclusive: Bright Bart is not Breitbart, it’s a smart guy named Bart running the Deep State’s Shadow Government

Exclusive: Bright Bart is not Breitbart, it’s a smart guy named Bart running the Deep State’s Shadow Government

WASHINGTON, D.C.— Yes, there is another Breitbart but this one is Bright Bart. Until this report, no news outlet has mentioned the name Bartholomew Musk, and yet this name may be attached to one of the top members of the “Deep State,” which the current Presidential administration is blaming for its trouble times. This exclusive […]

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