president

‘Mooch’ landing in the White House; Tony takes Trump-talk to a new level, eyes VP spot in 2020

‘Mooch’ landing in the White House; Tony takes Trump-talk to a new level, eyes VP spot in 2020

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The appointment of President Trump’s new communications director, Anthony Scaramucci, addressed the six-month long quagmire between the President and the press. “The response,” said an unnamed source from inside the White House, “Is something like, ‘Yo, you didn’t see dis one comin’ so don’t expect to see any more comin’.’” Scaramucci, known […]

Seeing President Trump in Europe will mostly be ‘Fake Views,’ according to secret sources in the entourage

Seeing President Trump in Europe will mostly be ‘Fake Views,’ according to secret sources in the entourage

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Political Pulp has learned that in order to keep President Trump safe, on schedule and fully awake for his European trip, Air Force One brought along at least seven Donald Trump look-alike imitators. “It’s a big secret,” said a source that would not reveal his or her identity because the Donald-Trump-look-alike-imitators are […]

Everyone is or isn’t under investigation, including those who are or aren’t under investigation

Everyone is or isn’t under investigation, including those who are or aren’t under investigation

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The most damaging leak of all the leaks in the first five months of the Trump campaign may has been released, according to our sources that are sources so resourceful that no one can question the source-osity [sic] of that which comes from the sources lips. The leak came early on June […]

The vicissitudes of the name Reince Priebus are prevalent across the globe

The vicissitudes of the name Reince Priebus are prevalent across the globe

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Go anywhere in the world and ask a citizen of any country this question: Who is President Trump’s Chief of Staff? The answer, most of the time, will be almost correct. It would be totally correct if a citizen of any country could correctly remember the name Reince Priebus. Recently, surveys have […]

Another President Johnson? Dwayne doesn’t rule out run to ‘Rock’ the White House

Another President Johnson? Dwayne doesn’t rule out run to ‘Rock’ the White House

LOS ANGELES, Calif. —He was known as “The Rock” in professional wrestling and he is now the highest paid actor in movies. Recently, Dwayne Johnson saw his future with one more possibility—a U.S. Presidential candidacy. “Why not?” said a Wisconsin head of a Johnson fan club. “We had an actor before and now we got […]

The 100-day solution is as divided as the USA when it comes to President Trump

The 100-day solution is as divided as the USA when it comes to President Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C.— Marking the symbolic first 100 days of President Donald Trump as a success or failure depends on the source. The president feels it has been the most productive first 100 days ever. “By ever,” said an inside source from the White House, “he means further back than when this country had a President. […]

Journalists commit to lie reporting Presidential news to keep up with President’s lies

Journalists commit to lie reporting Presidential news to keep up with President’s lies

WASHINGTON, D.C.— The credibility gap created by President Trump has so irked journalists on both sides of the aisle that many reporters, bloggers and editors of news outlets have decided to do battle by fighting fire with fire—in other words fighting lies with lies. “We the press feel that if the President can say things […]

Exclusive: Bright Bart is not Breitbart, it’s a smart guy named Bart running the Deep State’s Shadow Government

Exclusive: Bright Bart is not Breitbart, it’s a smart guy named Bart running the Deep State’s Shadow Government

WASHINGTON, D.C.— Yes, there is another Breitbart but this one is Bright Bart. Until this report, no news outlet has mentioned the name Bartholomew Musk, and yet this name may be attached to one of the top members of the “Deep State,” which the current Presidential administration is blaming for its trouble times. This exclusive […]

Consensus for Cruz: mission impossible

Consensus for Cruz: mission impossible

RENO, stuff Nevada/Frank Cotolo – The bookies, salve the pundits, the political scribes and even psychics have commingled opinions on Senator Ted Cruz’s Presidential campaign—it’s the road to nowhere. Moments after Cruz presented a prosaic announcement of his candidacy at Liberty University, the wheels of destruction began to grind his chances down to nothing. “All […]

U.S. senators’ letter about nuclear deal fell flat because it lacked Mexican treats

MASHAD, Iran/Frank Cotolo – There has been a tirade of controversy about U.S. senators going over President Obama’s head by sending a letter to Supreme Leader Ayatolla Khamenei concerning the ongoing talks about a deal to level Iran’s nuclear program, including the fact that the letter was not accompanied by a basket of Mexican snacks. […]